Examining Limiting Beliefs

While beliefs are an important part of life, often essential and necessary to life experience, they can sometimes act as a disservice.  It is a good practice to take the time now and then to examine our beliefs.  To see where we’re stuck.  To see where we can let beliefs go that no longer serve us.  To see which to keep.  Much like separating grain from chaff.  Merriam Webster defines belief as:

1.  a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing

2.  something believed; especially : a tenet or body of tenets held by a group

3.  conviction of the truth of some statement or the reality of some being or phenomenon especially when based on examination of evidence

Think of all the ways we have been told what to believe -whether by society, our parents, our teachers, our faith.  How often do we take the time to pause and reflect?  To examine whether these beliefs are something we hold to be true and right?  Perhaps this is why the Buddha advised:

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.

Sometimes, upon examination, we find that we hold beliefs simply because someone told us it was so.  Maybe it was upon trying something new and being told we weren’t good enough right off the bat - when there wasn’t even time to practice - because, really, most of us aren’t going to play piano like Mozart the first time we touch a piano.  Or perhaps we have been told we weren’t smart enough, attractive enough, strong enough, we aren’t this enough or that enough.  How often to we internalize these things without ever questioning their truth and validity?  We merely accept them and believe we are limited in this way. 

Beliefs are often things we tell ourselves, baseless judgments made in a moment of fear or self-doubt.  Maybe we believe our heels will never reach the ground in downward facing dog pose, or that we’ll never be able to take handstand away from the wall. Or perhaps, we tell ourselves far more detrimental things, such as  we aren’t qualified to do the job we really want, or that we’re too old to learn something new.  The list goes on and on.  In her book Eastern Body, Western Mind, Anodea Judith talks about beliefs in limitations and says:

It is amazing how vehemently people will defend their belief in limitations.  “There’s no way I’ll ever get out of debt.” “No matter what I do, I always end up alone.” “No one can go to school while raising kids.  I’m stuck in this job forever.”  Even when you describe situations where people have broken these limitations, the person will find a reason why it will not work for them.  Belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What it all boils down to is if we tell ourselves “I can never” we simply cannot ever.  Just because we tried it once before and it didn’t work, doesn’t mean it will not ever.  Just because it seems scary to surrender does not mean the liberation we feel when we do is not worth it.  When we fully let go, the beautiful possibilities are abundant.  Become the master of your own destiny.  Follow the words of Gandhi who said: “[m]en often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't have it in the beginning.”

Many years ago, I was told to question everything.  To this day I find it to be some of the best advice I was ever given.  While it may be difficult or painful to examine ourselves and to question the countless stories we have told ourselves time and time again, the ability to grow from there is endless.  When we learn to see what is holding us back unnecessarily and we let go, the possibilities are astounding.

Balance

Most people get a fair amount of fun out of their lives, but on balance life is suffering, and only the very young or the very foolish imagine otherwise.
~George Orwell

For every ying there is a yang – for every good deed there is one that may not be so great. Life is balance and balance it life. Having a life filled with happiness and joy is possible, but knowing and understanding that happiness is something worth fighting for.

Yes – at times it can be hard – but that is balance. Each trial we have will teach us a new way to be happy. When you are feeling low always remember the lowest low is only a precursor to something great and that in the darkest moment is when we find how important faith is and when we see a new level of clarity. Clarity that shows us what we’re really made of.

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.
~Thomas Merton

Meditation

“I am balance. I am centered. I am grounded.”

Come to a comfortable seat, adjusting the flesh from your sitting bones and find yourself grounded where you are. Breathing in deeply all the way down to your belly and exhale completely. With each breath begin to count back from ten all the way down to the number one – each time you find a though enter your mind, allow it to slip away and in stead offer up your own mantra.

Today I choose, “I am balanced. I am centered. I am grounded.”

Know that your mind is a working machine, so do not become angry with yourself if outside life keeps gnawing at you. Just simply breathe and bring your attention back to your mantra. Wether you sit for five minutes – which is a very reasonable time for a beginner – or an hour, follow the cadence of your breath and your voice filling in the spaces between your breaths until you fill the room with you.

Breathe and let go.

The light and spirit inside of me, honors the light and spirit inside of you.

~namaste~

posted by: Aryn Youngless

Living without Limits

"Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless."
~ Jamie Paolinetti

As children it's easy to see 1000 different ways to spend our day. When the sky gives us rain, we splash in the puddles. When the air turns cold and snow piles up we build forts and have snow ball fights.
Children look at this difficult weather and make it into a joyous occasion and then they grow and we see it as a burden. We limit the world around us.

It's easy to get caught up in the humdrum of life and become so focused on one pinpoint spot in time we lose sight of all the wonders around us, and all the wonders that are inside of us. There is no right and wrong - there are only mistakes that teach us how to do it better the next time. Life is filled with fascinating lessons that we go through each day and what we get out of them should help us to see that the possibilities really are limitless.

All you really need is faith in yourself, the will to work harder than you ever have and embrace the passion that flows through you - and then you will see the glass ceiling wasn't really there at all.

"We all have possibilities we don't know about. We can do things we don't even dream we can do"
~Dale Carnegie

Meditation

"I am free to be the person I want to be. The possibilities in my life are limitless."

Find a quiet spot to lie down - if the weather permits it, outside would be perfect. Lie on your back in savasana with your shoulder blades rolled onto your back, allow your feet to fall open naturally and your hands to rest on the ground next to you, palms open to the sky.

Allow your eyes to soften. Allow your jaw to relax. Feel your body sink into the ground below you. Notice each point of your body that is connecting with the earth and realize that you are safe, you are grounded, you can let go. Then begin to chant either in your mind our out into the air that surrounds you - "I am free to be the person I want to be. The possibilities in my life are limitless."

Breathe in and out the millions and millions of possibilities that surround you and the opportunities you can have it you simply ask. You are free to be the person you want to be. Your life is limitless.

Urdhva Hastasana (Upward Salute)

Come to stand in tadasana (mountain pose) with your feet hip width distance apart. Stacking your knees over your ankles, hips over your knees and shoulders over your hips - inhale - swan dive upwards, drawing your arms out to the side all the way above your head. Keeping your fingers wide and your hands active, gently bring your gaze to your hands.

On your next exhale, draw your hands together at your heart in Anjali Mudra (prayer mudra) and slightly bow your head.

The light and spirit in me, honors the light and spirit in you
~Namaste~

Posted by: Aryn S. Youngless

We can all be compassionate beings, but first we must show ourselves compassion.

"It is lack of love for ourselves that inhibits our compassion towards others. If we make friends with ourselves, then there is no obstacle to opening our hearths and minds to others"

-Unknown

Sometimes its easy to confuse self-love with conceit. We feel that by saying, "I love me for who I truly am" we are conveying to others we somehow feel superior to them.

First we must understand that when we rely solely on others opinions of our lives, we become slaves to that society. By refusing to trust ourselves or to love ourselves we lose who we really are and morph into a hodge podge of others personalities and beliefs

Through all of our personal strengths and weaknesses we become our own perfect and special being. There is no single perfect person in this world, it is the specific parts of us that allow us to be special.

Second, once we accept ourselves, and love ourselves for the person we are we can than turn our compassion to those around us. We can spread our compassion throughout the world one person at a time.

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

- Dalai Lama

Meditation

If you don't all ready have a regular place to practice meditation, find a quiet spot in your house, and if your home is much like mine - let your family know that you will be meditating for the next half hour to hour.

(*Note: If this is your first time meditating, begin with a five minute session, and then each day add one minute to your practice until you reach the amount of time you would like to meditate.)

Begin by finding a comfortable seat, you will be in this position for a longer period of time, so be sure the position you choose is one that won't be cutting the circulation off to your legs in (and if your legs do fall asleep - don't worry - finish the meditation and you'll be just fine. Promise.)

Place your hands on your knees with your palms facing upwards - open to receive as well as give the compassion we all so desire. Then draw your attention to your breathing. Counting from one to ten. Each number for one full inhalation and exhalation. Letting each breath to carry away your thoughts and worries.  Allowing your mind to clear until it is quiet.

Once you feel you're ready begin, with each breath, stating thinking or chanting aloud - "I am compassion. I am self-love."

You are compassion, you are self-love and you are a special being just like all others around you.

Humble Warrior

Begin by making your way into Warrior One, lower your hands behind your back clasping the fingers together. Roll your shoulders onto your back as you straighten your arms and then - exhale - folding forward bowing humbly to the world around you and bringing yourself closer together.

To bow down and come inside yourself, or to bow down to those who are around is we can find a new path in life. A path filled with truth and honesty. A path that allows our true and special self to shine through into this world.

Compassion is not a flaw, just as being human is not a flaw - it is a gift. Life is a gift, and one we only have for a short time. So chose to spend that time in a way that will help those around your, and at the same time help yourself.

I bring my hands together at my heart and say to you namaste. The spirit and the light that is in you, which is also in me. 

"At the end of the day, love and compassion will win. "

-Terry Waite

-posted by: Aryn S. Youngless 

“It is not others who must change, but you.” Swami Parjnanpad

We've all heard this before in some form or another, perhaps best know by Confucius having said "when we see a man of contrary character we should turn inwards and examine ourselves."  It can be used as a meditation; a means of self-reflection as Confucius suggests.  This can be a rather insightful practice.  Why am I bothered by what this person is doing?  Is it because I do this same thing and I don't like it about myself?  This goes back to the biblical saying "judge not lest ye be judged."
When I find that I am being judgmental of someone because I see something in them that I don't like about myself, hopefully I can then offer them compassion and understanding instead of harsh judgment and irritation.  Carl G. Jung says "If there is anything we wish to change in [someone else], we should first examine and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves."
This may not always be the case.  Maybe I don't see that it's something that could better be changed in me.  In taking the time to reflect, however, I may begin to understand that being critical of this person's actions only serves to irritate me and cause me suffering.  In this situation, it may be best to accept what is and let go.
Ultimately, I think Gandhi had it right when he said to "be the change you wish to see in the world."  I believe this is message offered by Swami Parjnanpad.